Second chances.

Why do we all feel that we must share our thoughts? I can easily write this in my journal but yet here I am opening myself to the world. It is 11:43 pm and I am writing my Wharton MBA essay, which is due in 2 days so no time to edit this entry. Fair warning. I am also not the best writer. In fact, I never enjoyed it. It wasn’t until last year when I had to write over 20 MBA school essay drafts that I began to actually write.

This is my second go on applications. It’s been a hard experience. When people tell you it’s hard, don’t underestimate them, it’s hard. Rigorous, incredibly taxing. Sure it may be a breeze for some. But not for me. However, I am a hard worker. I love work, in fact my life is almost entirely all work but that’s me. My father worked all day everyday, so why can’t I? I may not be the most articulate and well written but I am willing to go above and beyond to make sh** happen.

So, yes, this is my second time applying. Wait listed at 2 top MBA programs last year but that’s where my application ended. Waitlist. Dreadful. Hours of networking, coffee chats, interview preps, travel, money spent on hotels, flights, GMAT tutoring and consulting and yet NO entry.

The good thing is that I have started to write more, read more and I am ever so so so grateful that I have the opportunity to do this. This meaning to apply to business school. A lot had to go right, hell I am alive! I am healthy, for the exception of a 3 month long cold-like virus and which just ended a month ago (to add insult to injury). I also purchased property–giving myself a cute comfy place to live. And guess what? I did it all by myself. I have been living and supporting myself 100% since I left to Uni at 17. Without even a car or a drivers license. I wasn’t that studious girl in High School. I was smart and super ambitious as a child but a lot of personal events in junior high happened and it turned my happy life into a very sad one. My parents never finished more than the third grade, my father spoke broken English (he passed when I was young) and my mother speaks and understand very very little of it. Of course I wish things were different. But I have zero control of the family and circumstances I was born into.

So here I am. I will let you know how my applications go. Happy New Year! I hope that you have so much love for yourself today and the rest of the year. I know how it is to self loath and doubt yourself. Can I do this? Yes you can. Yes I can. I have support, I have access to so much information. I have myself. I got you (me to me).

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